Monday, February 18, 2013

It's gas gas gas

I looked awesome today! I wore gorgeous open-toed pumps with deliciously high heels, tight jeans (hey! three kids later and being almost forty I can still fit in them and wear them without anybody cringing, so I might as well brag), phenomenal peach-colored shirt I borrowed from my niece (a year and a half ago), super cool hip length light brown jacket with zippers galore giving it super stylish look, and, curtesy of my in-laws being here, I even had time to put make-up on this morning. In other words, I was sexy and I knew it!

... Until I went to the gas station to fill up. When the tank was full and the click sounded, I pulled the hose out of the tank opening thinking it's ok to do so. Except, the gas was still coming out and so a huge gash sprayed - no, make that WASHED - the whole left side of my car, the roof, my hands, my jeans and my I'll-whip-you-and-you'll-love-it shoes! Some of it even landed on my hair and lips! I think that half the gas station fell over with laughter.

Aaaand that's how, in a blink of a second, I went from 'sexy' to 'smelly and I know it'.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Ok. Alright, ALRIGHT! I admit it! I bought four pairs of shoes today. Yes, four. In one shopping. And before you point your finger at me and start yelling: "Are you insane??!", yes, I do remember that I break even every month and that my debt is the value of a new bathroom. But do you remember that I am a mother of three, all under the age of nine, I spend 8 hours and 45 minutes at work 5 days a week and first and foremost I AM a woman? I don't take daily lattes, I do my hair once a year, and i do my manicure myself (with my teeth). So for this mother, shoes are better than chocolate. Better than Sangria. Better than Epidural, and Epidural is like Nirvana,  for crying out loud! And it's not like  I starved my kids or even deprived them of their allowance. I didn't even break the bank really. The total tally was $60, and I think that 4-pairs-for-$60 should earn me a spot in the Hall of Fame of Savvy Shoppers. And look at them. Just look at them! I spent thirty minutes in the store doing nothing but pushing them around in the cart drooling and battling my sense of guilt. I am about to spend about $600 on my kids' birthday party next weekend and phenomenal shoes are not on my list of items for party favors, but, hey, I'm working so hard for each and every birthday party of theirs and don't I deserve a party favor, too?